


we are just chasing what we can't ever get

by dinosaurism



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Aubrey Little Has ADHD, Autistic Duck Newton, Campaign: Amnesty (The Adventure Zone), Coming Out, Duck Newton Has a Sensory Overload, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Multiple Relationships, Sensory Overload, Sensory Processing Disorder, Trans Duck Newton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27566080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaurism/pseuds/dinosaurism
Summary: in which a sensory overload at a group campfire leads duck newton to come out as trans to his girlfriend minerva.
Relationships: Barclay/Indrid Cold/Agent Stern, Dani/Aubrey Little, Jake Coolice/Hollis, Minerva/Duck Newton
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	we are just chasing what we can't ever get

**Author's Note:**

> GOD do i love duck newton and yes he's autistic bc i project onto him. this isnt my best work but ive been working on it the last week and didnt feel like editing anymore  
> minerva is a strong! beautiful! buff! lady!   
> cw: sensory overload, panic attack, mentions of transphobia  
> title from woodland by the paper kites!

Duck Newton was sitting in Minerva’s lap with sweat dripping down from his forehead and staining the pits of his forest-ranger uniform shirt and mosquitoes buzzing around him. He definitely didn't feel great. The hands that touched his sides and carefully but noticeably rubbed small circles into his ribs grounded him slightly and he looked up a little to see Minerva’s bright blue eyes piercing into him. His face lit up like the campfire in front of him, the grass he sat on tickling his exposed legs. 

“Are you okay, Duck Newton?” She asked curiously watching her boyfriend tremble and blush underneath her gaze. The sight always made warmth flood through the woman’s chest. He just nodded and blinked, having trouble forming a cohesive sentence. “Y-Yeah, I’m good honey. Just a bit overheated, that's all.” He explained, lying through his teeth. 

She would have pressured him to tell him what was wrong when Aubrey Little and Dani both laughed loudly across from the two, leaning into each other. They held wine glasses full of apple juice and clinked them together, both girls taking a sip and then sharing a kiss. Duck would’ve smiled at them if he wasn’t so caught up in his overload. 

He looked around the fire with foggy eyes, watching his friends interact. Jake Coolice and Hollis were arguing over something he didn’t really understand but he could see a playful smirk form onto Hollis’ mouth before they started throwing popcorn at their neon-clothed boyfriend. His eyes wandered over to see Indrid Cold painting his nails the same color as his opaque red glasses. Behind him Agent Stern was braiding the long brown hair of Barclay, twisting flowers into the locks. It was quite funny how the dynamics of the couple differed, an FBI agent dating both Bigfoot and the Mothman. They all made it work though, somehow. 

He was studying the group with his gaze but Duck’s head was somewhere else. There was something gnawing at him, clawing at his chest to let it out. Him and Minerva hadn’t been dating too long, maybe a few weeks. Though they had known each other ever since he turned 18, they really didn’t form a romance until recently. It wasn’t very different from being her friend, her mentee. 

She still was constantly teaching him new things, whether they be about his powers or her planet or the wars she lived through. He got to teach her some things too, more about humans and emotions and social behaviors. She was learning very quickly, not that he expected anything less. Though a good pro of being her boyfriend was all the kissing. He could kiss her until the breath from his lungs would run out and he wouldn’t complain, he never would. 

But there were things they hadn’t done yet. Specifically...physical relations. The problem was that Duck had never told Minerva he was transgender. He never really felt the need to, why would he? He got top surgery a few days after his eighteenth birthday when he moved away from his unsupportive parents. He said his name was Duck, and that’s what she called him. He said he was a boy, that’s what she identified him as. She never asked him about his biological gender identity, why would she? She had no reason to assume he was trans.

But oh, did he want to tell her. He needed to and yet he couldn’t. The words could just not leave his mouth. If he could have the strength to blurt everything out and explain why he would always end their kissing sessions before things escalated, he most certainly would. He didn’t even know if Minerva would understand what transgender meant. Maybe she wouldn’t care. Maybe she would. The uncertainty of it all made him want to puke.

The sun had already set before the group had come together in the woods and now the stars twinkled brightly in the midnight sky. His friends were all busy amongst themselves, not noticing his oncoming breakdown, which he wasn’t all ungrateful for. He hated when people saw him as vulnerable, it made him feel weak. He was still sweating and shaking and breathing unevenly even with the fire dimming and the breeze picking up, his nails scratching at his arms, leaving angry red lines across his hot skin. 

When Minerva picked him up from her lap and squeezed him in a bear-like hug he could almost see the same shapes in his head, his heart pounding both from the shock of being suddenly lifted and his pulsing head. The pressure against his whole body was nice though. “My love,,” She stated after setting him down, her tone unnaturally concerned. She usually sounded like she was making a huge announcement whenever she talked, Duck was surprised she was being so quiet. “I fear the campfire is making you too uncomfortable. I assume it would be best that you and I take a stroll away from the heat, would you agree?” 

The man continued to scratch at his arms while nodding, feeling his chest heave up and down. It was too hot, all too hot. His vision was starting to blur, skin crawling like he had jumped into a pool of ants. “Minerva-“ He gasped raggedly, starting to stim by flapping his hands, tears now streaming down his face. Too much, too much, too much. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe. 

He couldn’t feel Minerva taking his hand and quickly dragging him into a more secluded part of the trees, about a hundred feet away from the campfire. Duck didn’t really notice they had moved locations and just tried to breathe, scratching and flapping and crying and not even trying to stop himself from using his coping mechanisms. He needed someone, needed his girlfriend. 

“Nerva’, pressure, p-please.” He said, not yet able to look up at his lover just yet. She was around six-foot-eight and he was just barely five-seven so you could imagine how making eye contact with her could be difficult even without his sensory issues. Minerva nodded and moved behind him so she could wrap her large arms around his waist, rubbing into his ribs again. Duck forced himself to focus on the big, strong arms around him that pressed into his body. 

“Duck Newton, you are doing great. You just need to breathe right now.” The tall woman spoke calmly into his ear, voice low and rumbling and absolutely gorgeous. The combination of Minerva’s voice plus the pressure around him was starting to make Duck feel a lot better, bringing him back to the present. Though he was still very hot and sweaty, he didn’t feel like he was on fire anymore. The ants crawling over him were gone. His breathing was starting to slow until it returned to normal. 

“Honey, I-I gotta tell you somethin’ that’s been eatin’ up at me.” He spoke into the air once he felt ready, feeling Minerva rest her chin on his shoulder. He turned so he was now facing her, his arms around her waist and hers placed near his backside. He would’ve gotten flustered if he wasn’t already. He knew she didn’t mean anything by it. “Duck Newton, you can tell me anything you feel comfortable with.” She raised her head up, fully showing their height difference. Her eyes were on him, taking attention of his every move and word. He was happily bathing in the feeling. 

Duck nodded and looked down to the ground for a second, thinking. He’d only come out to a few people in the past year or so. Aubrey, Ned, Mama, and Barclay. He trusted all of them dearly and was happy to hear all of them supported him. It wasn’t at all like he didn’t trust Minerva, of course he did. But he didn’t always know how she’d react. She was usually calm, always usually understanding, but he never really knew what was going on in her head unless she’d directly tell him.

She was always taking in new information about Earth and the different people and cultures and normality's. She’d heard lots of things from passing strangers in the street or loud phone calls or parents yelling at their kids. He knew she had heard bigoted remarks before, even from Duck’s own parents. She would just blink, process what she just heard, and move on. She never exclaimed her agreement or disagreement or opinions. 

And that’s what scared Duck Newton. He didn’t know what was going to happen. That was fucking terrifying to him. He just shook the thoughts away, trying to muster up some sort of courage inside of him. He wasn’t as anxious anymore, especially because he honestly was quite tired from the overload he had had earlier, but still felt nerves bunching up inside of him. “I-um-there’s somethin’ I don’t think you know about me.” His voice suddenly became softer, cracking. He cursed himself. Why couldn’t he have a deeper voice? He was so...so feminine. 

“I know lots about you, my Chosen One; you have a deep affection for cats, you have a large collection of boat models you don't necessarily own but still keep close to you in you brown mind, you have asthma, you-” Minerva listed useless but sweet facts he had told her over the years until Duck interrupted her. “I’m transgender! I-I wasn’t born a boy, I was born a girl, okay? A-An’ I’m sorry for lyin’ to you this long I was jus’ nervous y’know? But yeah, I’m real sorry and I get it if you...if you don’t wanna date me anymore or whatever and-” Minerva was the one to interrupt now, cupping Duck’s cheeks in her large palms, slightly squeezing his face. 

“Wayne Newton. You do not need to apologize for being who you are. It does not matter to me what you were born as. You are special, you are human, you are absolutely beautiful. I have not been on this planet for very long, and I still do not know most things about Earth, but one thing I do know is that I care about and love you more than anyone else here. My support for you will never be doubted, no matter who or what you identity as. You are Wayne Newton, my Wayne Newton, and I could not ask for anyone better to be involved in a romance with.” 

Tears shone in the piercing eyes of the alien woman as she spoke, and though the blue marks striped across her bald head and dark skin pulsed with light, her voice never wavered. Everything about her and her presence spoke strength, and Duck could feel himself start to melt into the sigh of relief that escaped him. He hugged his girlfriend tightly, trailing a few soft smooches up her jaw before meeting her lips in a passionate kiss. 

“Thank you, Minnie. That was very, very sweet. I feel a lot better now. I-I’m glad you-uh-accept me an’ all.” Duck smiled warmly after finally separating their lips, breathless. Minerva’s mouth was puffy as she grinned back, her eyes speaking a million words that the man somehow fully understood though no words were said after that. They intertwined fingers as they walked back to the campfire. Aubrey sent him a smirk, making an obscene gesture with her fingers that only he saw. He blushed heavily and stuck up the middle finger which she giggled at. He sat back down in Minerva's lap in front of the fire and leaned back into her, eventually falling asleep as she began to play with his hair, surrounded by warmth and happiness and acceptance and love.


End file.
